It's my Birthday!

Today I turned 23, yippie! I don't feel much older, but my knees are killing me after this p90x-2 workout... and bad knees DOES make me feel older haha.

As with any birthday in my family, we went out to a restaurant to celebrate. I didn't want to eat restaurant food since I finally got myself back on track with eating well and clean, but what can you do? I did not eat breakfast this morning because I went to go and get bloodwork done (for the first time in years), so by the time I got out, I was fairly hungry and nerves (I hate needles) made it a bit worse.

Went to a health-conscious food place and got a large container that had: kale salad tossed in a yogurt dressing, mixed greens salad topped with pomegranate seeds and olive oil, some fennel and celery, some carrot and fennel slaw (which I didn't really eat because it wasn't that great), some chickpeas, and then some fava beans in this sort of marinara sauce.

It was fairly large, but I was also ravenous after not eating for 12+ hours. I figured I would eat light at lunch.... but what did I have at lunch?

• Goat cheese fritters (which were essentially pieces of goat cheese wrapped in phyllo dough and crisped up in some oil. I probably had the equivalent of 1 triangle because I shared it with the rest of my fam) that came with a beet and arugala salad. I ate all of the arugala, half of the beets, and swapped the leftover beets for 1/3 of my grandma's chicken veggie soup. 
• Then for my entree, I had this delicious fillet mignion in a red wine mushroom reduction that was to die for. I ate every last bite and do not regret its buttery, winey goodness. It came with sweet potatoes that were "supposedly" fried--according to my mom (but I think they probably poured some olive oil on them and grilled them because the edges were burnt... and you don't get blackened edges when you fry sweet potatoes)--and a tomato and arugala salad. I had half the arugala and gave the rest to my grandpa. He gave me a piece of his chicken.
• For dessert I had one mini biscottini with my coffee, an individual cheesecake serving (ate most of this, but let the rest of my family try it), and then 3 spoonfuls of my grandma's bread pudding, a spoonful of my mom's creme brulee, a spoonful of my grandpa's tiramisu, and a spoonful of my dad's pistachio gelato. 

After eating lighter, I was ready to explode at this point, and remained nauseous for about 2 hours after eating. I've been stuffed the rest of the night, but that didn't stop me from sampling this new Kashi cereal I bought my mom last weekend--some cinnamon clusters cereal, which tastes like cardboard, ugh--and then the lentil soup we got from this restaurant we always go to when we want salads or don't feel like cooking, and then one slice of some turkey cold cuts.

I did my work out today: Total Body and Ab Ripper. I feel great after doing so, and I can somewhat rationalize the food I snacked on earlier.

Tomorrow I restart my no grains plan. I prefer eating on the lighter carb side, ie) unlimited veggies and 1-2 fruits per day. Have been eating lentil soup from a restaurant almost every single day. If anything is messing with my weight loss goals, it would be that. I plan on making my own lentil soup soon, but have been somewhat busy recently. I eat more protein and healthy fats (it's so easy eating cashews and almonds, ahh!)

So goals:

• Eat clean - failed because I went to a restaurant and had desserts, but I'm not guilty because it was my birthday!
• Eat more protein - is going strong
• Eat more healthy fats - is going strong 
• Eat less starchy carbs - eh, the legumes are dangerous 
• Do not eat grains for 2 weeks - failed, restarting 1/13
• Do not binge or emo eat - still going strong! 
• Stick within my calorie range - failed that today, but like I said, I was going to be lenient since it's my birthday today 

Everything else goal-wise I'll track again Sunday night when I do my weekly roundup.

Tomorrow I want to restart being clean, and will try to do so to the best of my ability. Planned light meals to compensate for all I ate today. I will be going out with my guy friends tomorrow night, though, and they want to go out drinking *facepalm*  Will try to limit myself to 2 drinks max since I really don't want to consume sugar like that.

We'll see how my no binge/stress eat/continue to exercise plan goes! I only have a few more days left before 7 days have passed, and that means I get my first prize :) Although maybe I should count the lipstick I got today as my first prize lmao.

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P90X-2 Round 1: Week 2 (1/9-1/15)

It's my birthday this week! I don't have anything planned, nevertheless, I will be a bit more ... understanding ... if I don't follow my goals 100% this week, though I will strive to do so.


Goals for Week 2:

• #1 GOAL: detox from Sunday's sugar binge! 
• Eat clean for the week
• Eat more veggies
• Eat more fruit if I crave sweet things 
• Eat more protein
• Do not eat grains (from 1/9-1/23, at the very least) 
• Try another new fish (flounder or snapper), if possible
• Work out 5 days this week
• Work out 6 days this week (R+M1)
• Work out 7 days this week (R+M2)
• Walk more this week 
• Get at least 8 hours of sleep per day
• Do not binge
• Do not stress eat 
• Do not boredom eat
• Stop eating when 80% full 
• Eat only when hungry
• Drink 65oz water per day 
• Eat within calorie range
• Do not eat junk food 

Lots of goals this week. I think I can do it this time around. No more excuses... not if I want a bikini body for NOLA. Not if I want to lose this cupcake weight and get some muscle tone.

Rewards for NOT binging/stress eating AND working out:

• 7 days in a row: mark. On the Dot Eye Color Compact
• 14 days in a row: Benefit Cosmetics - Hervana
• 21 days in a row: TBA

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Day 7 P90X-2 (1/8/12)

Goals for Week 1:

• Do not overeat (semi-passed)
• Do not boredom snack (failed) 
• Do not binge/stress eat (failed)
• Do not eat junk (failed)
• Work out 5 days this week (passed!) 
• Work out 6 days this week (passed!) 
• Work out 7 days this week (failed - but for an acceptable reason) 
• Eat clean (semi-passed) 
• Do not eat grains (failed) 
• Eat within calorie range (failed) 
• Eat only when hungry (failed)
• Eat more fruits (passed!) 
• Eat more veggies (passed!) 
• Eat more lean proteins (passed!)
• Eat more healthy fats (hell yeah I passed this one!) 
• Try a new fish for the new year (passed!)
  

Sunday royally screwed me over... and I was doing extraordinarily well this week. Most of my failures for the week are because of today. I shouldn't play the blame game, but my boss kept pushing cupcakes and frosting on me today at work and I gave in (had some frosting) just to make her get off my back. I'm convinced she wants me to fail my no grains eating plan, which I ended up doing... but not at work, at least. As a result of the frosting, the sugar made me crave chocolate later tonight, which I had (bad Tori, you didn't really want it anyway!). Instead of stopping at one or two squares, I ate a lot. Not so happy about that. Plus side it was "semi" healthy and was dark chocolate, had fiber and antioxidants.

Then I realized that the chocolate may have had gluten, which kind of screwed over my no eating grains plan for the week. Because of that, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try the biscoff chocolate (which has wheat in it). And then I had a KIND bar a few hours later, even though I wasn't hungry. Can we say hello old, bad habits? UGH!

I worked out 5 days this week. The 6th I walked an insane amount of NYC blocks. Today my knee was hurting me way too much (from Friday's overzealous workout) and decided to take a rest day instead of doing Yoga and Recovery + Mobility.

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2012 NYR: Day 5

Well, I was going strong this week... until today.

• Monday I started p90x-2: core. Ate clean and did not eat any junk.
• Tuesday I did p90x-2: plyocide. Ate well and resisted cupcakes. 
• Wednesday I did p90x-2: recovery + mobility. Ate well and resisted cupcakes AGAIN WOO HOO!

Today? Well, I did not do my p90x-2 workout -- but I wanted to. I also did not eat as cleanly as I would have liked, but I was still fairly good today.

8:30AM: Woke up and rushed to the grocery store to get this week's shopping done.

11:00AM: I had a phone meeting with my professor's good friend, who just happens to have a phD in nutrition, so I really wanted to talk to this woman. She answered plenty of questions, eased my fears, and also raised new fears... primarily: holy shit, if I want to become a registered dietitian, I am going to have to work my ass off. Don't get me wrong, I knew I'd have to do that, but it never registered just how much I would have to work. I am up for the challenge, though :)

11:30AM: Que an intense freak out after I get off the phone. Started craving Carvel of all things (I hadn't had breakfast yet at this point, which was my biggest pitfall of the day).

12:30PM: I finally make scrambled eggs. Delish breakfast, my tummy is happy.

After that, I went into the city with my mother, visited the future college I want to attend for graduate school, and when we walked downtown, we saw a candied nuts stand. I love candied nuts, and the street vendors in Manhattan make the best ones. EVER. We got a small bag of cashews and almonds and between the two of us, ate half of each bag.

I stopped when I didn't want anymore, instead of binging on sugar. I view that as a huge victory.

My mother and I walked uptown (and uphill) from 42nd street to 68th. We climbed stairs, and also went down a few flights instead of taking the elevator. When we were done at the college I was visiting, we walked back downtown, so in total, we walked a little more than 52 city blocks. I don't feel too guilty about missing my workout because of that.

After, I followed one of my New Years resolutions: to incorporate more fish into my diet. My mom and I went to get a lunch/dinner (linner?) at this seafood place in Grand Central. I tried a lemon broiled fillet of sole. It tasted like chicken, and I am hooked. Absolutely loved the fact that they give you a huge side of veggies with your fishie.

On the train ride home I started to feel unwell; exhaustion, headache, nausea. The train car was overcrowded and stuffy, so I also started to get the makings of a panic attack, which I am positive would have overwhelmed me had my mom not been there to distract me.

I still have the headache, even at 11:20PM and after taking 2 Advil (and eating the rest of those candied nuts... for shame, I wasn't hungry, either). The headache was so bad earlier that whenever I stood up, it began pounding... which is why I did not work out. I'm convinced I was just dehydrated.

Tomorrow I plan on:

• Eating clean while aiming for the 50% protein / 25% fat / 25% carb ratio I have been somehow managing to maintain these past 4 days.
• Doing a double workout if I feel up to it. If not, then do today's workout tomorrow, and skip my recovery day so I don't miss anything.
• Drinking PLENTY of freaking water!

Moral of the story? Drink lots of water, even if you hate it, and get that breakfast eaten within 2 hours of waking up... even if you aren't hungry. If you're doing an IF, then okay, skip breakfast, but otherwise? Eat that food! There's a reason why they say it's important to eat breakfast, and I am slowly becoming a believer of this popular opinion.

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2012 New Years Resolutions

In 2012 I plan on doing the following in order to improve my life:


DIET
1. Drop down from 132 lbs back to 120 before bikini season.
I used to be 114 lbs in high school and the first two years in college. In the summer of 2010, I gained 5 lbs while writing my book. Then when I started p90x in April, I gained a few more pounds and was between 122-125 lbs after muscle gains. On the flip side, I stopped eating processed crap and enriched flours and felt more energized without sugar and all the other artificial garbage on grocery shelves nowadays. From Thanksgiving to Christmas, I binged on cupcakes from work and all other sorts of junk food due to stress eating/not working out...and I gained 5 more pounds because of it. I'm not fat, by any means, but I have inches and pounds I want to shed to reattain my beach body.

2. Eat clean for my health.
That means no more cupcakes or snacks from work; no more eating unhealthy foods at restaurants (though the occasional meal is ok with me); avoiding sugar (like pastries, etc)--unless that sugar comes from fruits and veggies or "healthier" junk food, like KIND bars. I have Truvia if I need some sort of sweetener in my tea or Choffy. I have fruits and whipped cream for a decadent treat. I will also allow myself to have DARK chocolate... so long as it is in moderation and contains some sort of fiber and/or antioxidants. If I don't have a problem with wheat, then I also have clean treats I can start making again.

3. Cut out grains for at least 14 days.
Something in my diet is bothering my digestive system. I thought it was yogurt, however, there are days when I eat yogurt and I am perfectly fine... There are also plenty of days where I avoid dairy in general and I am not fine. The next culprit is wheat, which I have begun to eat more of, recently. I will eat more legumes, fruits, veggies, healthy fats, and lean proteins to compensate for the lack of wheat. I should be eating more of these foods in general--especially the lean proteins, fruits, and veggies.

4. I will NOT beat myself up if I binge or mess up with my diet.
I do not consider this a diet, though I am aiming for 1200 calories per day. This is a lifestyle change. I need to learn how to say no while working at the bakeshop. I need to learn how to not binge on sugar (which I started doing ever since I started working at the bakeshop) when I am stressed or upset.

6. I will not treat food as a reward.
Guilty. I need to stop treating the pastries as a reward or something that I deserve, which is a mindset I adopted since working at the bakeshop, too. Instead, I will treat myself to a manicure, or I will buy myself something that I don't necessarily need, but that I want.

7. I will only eat when I am hungry.
I need to treat food like food again and stop when I am full, eat slowly, and only eat when I am hungry (though bakeshop days are different. I NEED to eat breakfast then, otherwise I will eat junk lol).


FITNESS
1. Work out at least 5 days a week.
This is my "me" time! For p90x-2, i would ideally do the stretching and recovery tape for my two rest days, meaning I work out 7 days a week total. When I finish p90x-2, I will start a new workout program (probably Turbo Jam) right away; I will not make excuses or fall off the fitness bandwagon--even if my life becomes entirely too chaotic and stressful while pursuing this nutrition degree.

2. Improvise if I can't do 40-60 minutes of a workout.
If I do not have the energy to do my p90x-2 workout that day, for whatever reason, I will still do pushups or squats to at least get my heart rate going--even if it's only for 5-10 minutes.

3. I will walk as often as I can.
Enough said.


MISC
1. I will try to socialize and remember to have fun... Instead of working all the time and being a hermit.
I miss having friends I could see whenever I want. I want to have girls nights out, or hang out with my guy friends. I may not be looking for a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean I should completely cut myself from all social interactions outside of school and work.


Well, they that the way you look depends on: diet 80%, exercise 10%, and genetics 10%. It would make sense that I fix my dysfunctional relationship with food again.

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